Quick Question: What’s The Meaning of Life?
Asking for a friend.
This month, I’ve officially become an aunt! I’m so excited to see my older brother become a dad, and even more thrilled to be having a tiny new human enter my life.
When my brother called to tell me that he and his partner were finally starting a family with the addition of a baby girl, I cried my own little eyes out - overjoyed to soon witness my brother's bloom into fatherhood and honored to be part of the village that gets to teach my niece about girlhood.
I got off the call filled with swirls of excitement, hope, and so many questions. What can I teach the newest member of our family? How can I contribute to her growth? How can I support my brother and his partner? How do I help keep them all feeling safe and loved? But that swirl quickly transformed into a hurricane of overwhelm. What even is love? How in the world are you supposed to help keep a child safe and encourage self-sufficiency? What happens if my brother messes up? What’s my role in all this? And what the hell is the meaning of life anyway? I have questions and need answers! MY NIECE WILL HAVE QUESTIONS AND I’LL NEED TO HAVE ANSWERS!
I took my journalistic skills and got to work sifting through my self-imposed conundrum. The heavy hitting questions. I set up interviews with trusted friends and lovers. I hit “play” on my favorite podcast - subject: cosmology. And finally, set out to gather children's books relevant resources.
I joked with some friends that the meaning of life is “FBGM” (urban dictionary it). I had others tell me it’s about doing whatever keeps us most present. I listened to astrophysicists thread the needle between stardust and the start of biology. I collected a rather large stack of kids’ books in search of ideas, all on subjects I felt were important to share with my niece. A book about sharing food, a book about exploring Seattle, a book about the vastness of space. And amidst my interrogations and personal research, I found a particularly special response in Sophie Beer’s bedtime story book Love Makes a Family. Reading it reminded me of the most important lesson there is to offer.
What I can only hope to teach our newest addition, is that life really is about love. In today's world, amongst our growing distractions, demands, distance, and misinformation, it's easy to forget what our purpose is. There will always be moments when life leaves us questioning how to be a good parent, how to be a good kid, how to be a good partner, a good contributor to family, community, etc. But when we remember to center real, unconditional love, answers come. When we choose to love another, we make a commitment to see them wholly, without judgment, and to not look away. And when we gift ourselves and each other the opportunity to be truly seen, we exemplify the bravery and curiosity that helps close the distance between our big questions and the beautiful answers.
As for the other stuff, I also plan to help instill a love of reading in my niece by being the one that takes her to her first scholastic book fair and buying her whatever she wants. And maybe I’ll finally fulfill my own childhood dreams by buying myself one of those sick-as-hell science kits while I’m at it. Supporting my brother? *check* Contributing to growth? *check* Teaching her something? *check* Afterall, there's nothing we can’t learn through the magic of books.